so today after a big internet drama between my friend group i decided to take the morning pretty chill (no i didn't sleep cuz i slept 17 hours yesterday ok) i had cereal i took a bath and generally just tried to remind myself that nothing on the internet is fucking real!!! These are all middleschool slap fights being perpetuated by grown adults 3 years or more my senior lmao. Which is to say I took a pretty offline kinda day today. I finally started on that oil painting I've been wanting to do for months and also cleaned up some of the stuff in the garage! Day by day my room starts to feel a little more like me again, but I'm not letting it fully happen until I can move out to a place I can call my own...
So what did I do with the rest of my free time? uhhhh read manga, watch youtube, barely practice japanese and of course, call my girlfriend and then sleep the ENTIRE DAY. Now some would say that is a poor use of my time but I would say... nahhh I really like taking naps to be honest like sometimes I'll just nap even if I don't have to and there's nothing u can do about it LMAO
Now that I'm actually awake though, I can go over my plans for the rest of the day (which is basically do nothing to anyone who actually has a life outside of their bedroom but to be fair I'm also depressed and my job is situated IN my bedroom basically).
So I've got 2 commissions currently in my queue and then 2 people who want to commission me after my queue is cleared so technically four but I think i'll be taking a break for a week from commissions just to fuck around although I already do that WHILE taking commissions so idk o_0 and then I've got all these animations I need to do as well which I've been kinda behind on but I'm trying my best ok.. sometimes instead of doing the thing ur supposed to do, you spend multiple hours drawing the same anime girl over and over instead LMAO but it is what it is ig
I also want to jump start development on my manga or comic or whatever, like just planning out more story elements more thoroughly and storyboarding more things. Currently the only storyboard I have is for the very beginning prologue (which to be fair is very low on dialogue or pages in general lol) but I also need to do more concepting for character and location designs so it's a bit of a mixed bag rn.
I also highkey miss filming vlogs and stuff but I literally don't do shit so I don't even really know what I would film at this point. I'm kinda just grinding at life until I can move the hell outta here because this place makes me genuinely want to take my own life. I'm hoping to get like a decent little apartment in (insert city) like I don't need much I just need to not be here and that city is a pretty good place for conventions and such.
SPEAKING of conventions, I really hope I get into comic con cape town but ig we'll have to see how it goes. I've kind of given up on selling at cons cuz one it's really expensive to do but also I just don't get into any and so the amount I've been working feels kinda futile at this point. It's kinda sad to give up on ur dreams but atleast animating furry commissions pays well i guess haha. As long as I can do commission to live comfortably and fuel my life (merch addiction) then I'll be one happy sailor haha.
People tend to dog on artists who do like fetish art commissions and such but in this current political and economic climate I don't really see an issue with capitalising on it at this point it feels like a given (hence why i do it). If I didn't have to take weird commissions to survive... well I probably still would they're fun to draw BUT that's besides the point.
Speaking of I need to get my ass to making some your character here commissions for that exact purpose so I can actually move out sooner because those people pay really well haha.
It's been really nice having likeminded people into the same weird stuff as me to be honest like I feel like I don't have to be paranoid about coming off as weird or whatever which is awesome. It's also like hard to find those kinda people sometimes because yk ppl usually try to keep it to their private lives (me included haha) so it was a really nice breathe of fresh air!
I kinda wanna get into commentary videos like art commentary videos but I feel like the space isn't really about art anymore? is that just me? Like it's about an artist or person who is in the community but they're never really talking about art unless it's about like, bad stuff that people have drawn? And don't get me wrong we all have our fair share of skeletons in the closet but like why doesn't anyone make art videos about art??? It's really really weird and I feel kinda crazy like I'm the only one noticing it or something... idk! If I made more art commentary videos I'd like to do stuff like "how I made this art" or "things I learnt from making art and posting it online" or "how to and how not to give critique" or even just analysing some issues in the wider art community that I feel are kinda harmful, interesting, or just silly! To be honest though, trying to get into the community kinda feels like asking to eventually have all of my socials stalked and scrubbed for anything ppl find morally iredeemable >_> sooo you can imagine my hesitation. That's why I tend to talk about more niche things like being a fanartist in smaller fandoms (shameless promo) (also double parenthesis I wanna make another video abt this tbh about getting ppl to join these fandoms in a way that's easy for everyone!). SO we'll see how this whole thing goes, if I make more blogs and vlogs then yay but don't count on it I am really inconsistent in everything, the only thing consistent about me at this point is my own insanity haha.
Thanks for reading this txt file, and as always... :3